5:00 am. Wake up, bitch! You need to pee.
I know, I made you go twice before three.
Not so fast, fatty! The kitchen’s right there.
Feed me some cheese and a chocolate eau claire.
Well, that was good, now let’s go back to bed.
I have new nightmares, your family’s dead!
No! Fuck the sunrise, it’s just 6:00 am!
Ha! Meditation? BLAH BLOOH BING BAM BEM!
FUCK YOU, YOU SUCK, NO ONE LOVES YOU, YOU’RE FAT!
YOU’RE ALL ALONE AND I BLAME YOU FOR THAT!
Take me to Ballet, but only to watch.
Don’t make me split or I’ll rip off your crotch.
Just skip the shower, let’s binge-watch a show.
Fine! Did you like that? I just hit your toe!
See all that hair you lost? Yeah, that was me.
You’re not as pretty as you used to be.
Here, smell this bacon, you need it, come on!
What? Vegetarian? Why can’t you be fun?
Hey, you’re audition for Fox is today.
You never book any roles anyway.
You need to sing, play some music. Good choice!
Ha-ha! Just kidding, I fucked up your voice.
I’m fucking starving, more food on my plate!
Time to go teach, you don’t want to be late.
Listen to music while driving, just try.
Psych! You can’t do it, it will make you cry.
Oh, man! Not yoga! You bitch, don’t you dare!
I’ll make you fart so hard during the prayer!
Ooh! He’s so sexy, white t-shirt, tattoos.
Say something stupid and play with your boobs.
Let’s buy new clothes, boo. I know you got paid.
Call your ex-boyfriend, I need to get laid.
I’m having fun, we should stay here tonight.
Or just go crazy and pick up a fight.
I don’t like books, and I don’t want to sleep.
Fool, you’ll regret it when you’re counting sheep.
You look so peaceful, I wish you could see.
1:00 am. Wake up, bitch. You need to pee!